When I work with clients during hypnotherapy or life coaching session about reaching their goals, lack of confidence and low self-esteem comes into play very often. Unworthiness, self-doubt and negative self-talk are low vibrations that seep from our unconscious mind into our consciousness and ultimately sabotage our goals like a graffiti bandit. Whatever beautiful scenario we try to paint for ourselves, the dark bandit sprays over it with discouragement and negativity. We struggle alone, defaced and defeated vowing never to go down this path again when it’s over. The constant cleanup is just too hard, we say. Or we run in defeat at the first sign of the bandits - touting fear from past experiences with them as our guide.
What we need is an inner mentor. A best friend. A voice of inner strength. A best friend, if they are truly a friend, will call you out when you are about to bury your head in the sand. They stand with you to face the bandits – repainting and clearing the walls of negativity. A best friend does not flee or fill you with fear. A best friend fills you with hope and helps you look for opportunities within the challenges. A best friend encourages you to follow your heart and help you set and meet your goals. A best friend sees things in you that you may not recognize or value in yourself.
So when my clients are in a cycle of negative self-talk, self-doubt and insecurity, I ask them to think of a best friend. If this situation were happening to your best friend, what would you say to them? What would you want your best friend to say to you? Now say those things to yourself.
Feeling worthy and deserving of such love from others or oneself may be difficult for some people. It’s ok. Say it anyway. The best friend would. If you say something to yourself that you cannot accept as your truth, make a note of it. Journal about it. Meditate on it and ask why that concept is difficult for you. What if you want a raise yet you don’t feel worthy of one? What is the underlying emotion? (i.e. fear, shame, sadness). What belief about yourself causes this emotion?
Many times, just bringing awareness to the issue ignites change - a knowing that the negative belief about yourself is NOT true. When you shift perception, you shift energy. When you shift energy miracles happen. When clients can’t get to best friend status on their own, I recommend a hypnosis/hypnotherapy session to remove the resistance and unblock the path to their goals and aspirations. Parts therapy, regression or eye movement therapy is used very effectively. EFT is also a good way to get the energy back to a positive flow.
For more on Being your Own Best Friend – Using Hypnosis/Hypnotherapy to Remove Blocks to Goals and hypnosis/hypnotherapy to uncover emotions and beliefs to block you from reaching your goals, call or write Dee Woolridge at Dee@HChypnosis.com or 510-504-5992.